Published on January 13th, 2013 | by Duncan Riley0
Want to Lose Weight? You can now use a Stomach Pump
Dean Kamen, the guy who designed the Segway Personal Transporter is back with his latest and greatest invention: Aspiration therapy.
If that doesn’t sound too bad upfront, the details are where you will likely act in revulsion as I did: it’s a mobile stomach pump.
Aspiration theory works by inserting a specially designed tube into your stomach, which is then connected to a small valve, known as a Skin-Port, that is surgically implanted directly into your abdominal wall, allowing access on the go from outside your body.
With the tube installed, whenever you over indulge in a meal, you attach a small device called an “AspireAssist” to the “Skin-Port,” and pump the food away.
The company claims the process is completely safe, and advises users to begin the process about 20 minutes after eating a meal so you can remove the amount of food you want “before it’s been digested.”
The Register makes this comment:
“The cynical among you might observe that there’s also a practical similarity between Aspiration Therapy and a certain, much older technique, one well known to ballerinas, runway models, and Roman senators. But Aspire is quick to point out that this new technique has significant advantages over sticking one’s finger down one’s throat.
For one thing, patients are meant to practice Aspiration Therapy only under the supervision of their doctors, who will monitor their electrolyte and metabolite levels and administer supplements as necessary. Furthermore, vomiting causes stomach acids to enter the mouth and esophagus, which can cause long-term damage over time. The Skin-Port presents no such risks.”
The company also claims that it’s safer than gastric banding surgery…which may well be true but at least gastric banding surgery won’t offend your dinner guests because you have to excrete food from your stomach after eating.
For those with the stomach for it (pun intended) a video explaining the process as follows: